writer's block.

well...i wouldn't consider myself a writer. i wouldn't even consider myself a wannabe writer. in my opinion, the only time my writing is decent is when i pour my heart into it. when i challenge myself. when i'm writing about emotions and thoughts that i struggle to put into words and therefore must delve deep into my emotions to dig out the words i need. writing like this is a process. i have to intentionally force myself to sit down and pour {and sometimes vomit} my words onto the computer screen. it's emotionally taxing for me to pour my heart out onto the computer screen like this, but i always finish with a lighter heart and in better spirits.

as i type this, i wonder why i'm even sharing this with you. i guess it's because of the title...writer's block. at the moment, i have no profound thoughts to share with you, no funny stories to giggle about, and no exciting circumstances to converse about. life is just life. monotony. exhaustion. homework. stress. but through it all, i am loved. i am blessed. i have incredible friends and family around the country who would support me through anything. i have a pretty swell school schedule {i only have to go to school on tuesdays and thursdays}. i have a God who is bigger than my circumstances.

i feel like my life is overflowing with apathetic people. i am struggling to be passionate because the people i am around are not passionate about anything. this passage has become what i feel to be my calling. my challenge.

{God grabbed me. God's Spirit took me up and set me down in the middle of an open plain strewn with bones. He led me around and among them—a lot of bones! There were bones all over the plain—dry bones, bleached by the sun. He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "Master God, only you know that." He said to me, "Prophesy over these bones: 'Dry bones, listen to the Message of God!'" God, the Master, told the dry bones, "Watch this: I'm bringing the breath of life to you and you'll come to life. I'll attach sinews to you, put meat on your bones, cover you with skin, and breathe life into you. You'll come alive and you'll realize that I am God!" I prophesied just as I'd been commanded. As I prophesied, there was a sound and, oh, rustling! The bones moved and came together, bone to bone. I kept watching. Sinews formed, then muscles on the bones, then skin stretched over them. But they had no breath in them. He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath. Prophesy, son of man. Tell the breath, 'God, the Master, says, Come from the four winds. Come, breath. Breathe on these slain bodies. Breathe life!'" So I prophesied, just as he commanded me. The breath entered them and they came alive! They stood up on their feet, a huge army. Then God said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Listen to what they're saying: 'Our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, there's nothing left of us.'"Therefore, prophesy. Tell them, 'God, the Master, says: I'll dig up your graves and bring you out alive—O my people! Then I'll take you straight to the land of Israel. When I dig up graves and bring you out as my people, you'll realize that I am God. I'll breathe my life into you and you'll live. Then I'll lead you straight back to your land and you'll realize that I am God. I've said it and I'll do it. God's Decree.'"}

- ezekiel 37:1-14 {the message}

i think i am here to speak into the lives of the apathetic. to prophesy life. to encourage and love, but also to challenge. my calling is not to sit in apathy. my calling is not to be a lukewarm Christian. my calling is to be the hands and feet of Christ without regard to myself.

i am dreadfully sorry about this post. i'm not exactly sure what i just wrote or why i wrote it, but {as always} i feel better after writing it.