the future terrifies me.
paralyzes me.
so many questions.
so little time.
so many decisions.
i hate decisions.
i can barely decide what to eat for lunch.
how am i supposed to pick a career?
how am i supposed to know what to pursue?
so many options.
asl.
elementary education.
dropping out.
overseas.
inner city.
i know where i'm going for college.
but i don't know what to study.
i have no idea what i'm doing after.
no.
idea.
and that scares me.
i like having a plan.
i enjoy feeling secure.
change stresses me out.
buuuut.
i serve a wonderful Papa.
he knows what he's doing.
and he's got me in his hands.
i have GOT to remember that.
cling to that.
draw hope from that.
and remember...
he is sovereign.
whether he decides to reveal the future to me or not.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." -Proverbs 19:21
ReplyDeleteYou can't make a 'wrong' decision about your future. Whether you have plans or (if you're like me) absolutely no plans, God's purpose will prevail. He doesn't ask us to do it on our own, He doesn't ask us to figure it all out. He asks us only to say yes to Him, and to follow where He leads. This can be difficult if you don't know where He's trying to lead you, but rest assured that if you're headed in the 'wrong direction' God will turn you around :)
A month after I got home from Uganda, I tried to find volunteer opportunities again. I tried 3 different homes in Uganda, and none of them worked out. I tried one in South Africa, that didn't work out. I found one place (called Ekisa) in Uganda, I volunteered but didn't hear back for a week. So I decided to apply for a place in Haiti instead, deciding that going to a new country might be good. I couldn't figure out what God was saying to do, so I kept 'stabbing in the dark' so to speak. I got my references in and everything, and then heard back from Ekisa. Never heard back from Haiti.
I guess what I'm saying is, He might not reveal His plan to you, but He'll keep you on the path He wants you to be on :)
can we please go on a mission trip together? hah but seriously...!
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